For those of you who haven’t secured so much as an interview in recent months, despite a doggedly diligent job search, please forgive me. For those of you who have and sit there stupefied, wondering why you haven’t been called back in, let me clue you in to a confession from a human resource executive who himself was laid off and is now subject to the same circumstances of fate he once honored.

Instead of banging your head against the wall, relax. Being hired simply may not be in the cards for reasons that have nothing to do with your presentation and interview.

Employment decisions are often made like the whims of nature and the weather. You know you’ve given a stellar interview. You and the interviewer connected on a deeper level. You were so relaxed, so articulate, so everything you’d hope you could be. Boy, you’ve aced this one, you think, and are sure they will call you back in.

Relax. According to a few little dirty secrets to which I was privy enough by his generosity of information, personal referrals of coworkers and staff always got hired over someone from the street or Internet. Always. The company simply went through the motions and ‘had’ to interview several others as a matter of protocol and even EEO policies.

However, if there were no personal referrals, then the rules of resume writing and interviewing behavior still prevailed. You had to be articulate and relaxed. Uptight, nervous people were never hired because it was perceived that that is how the person would behave on the job. So it is wise to concentrate on rapport, relaxing and not being uptight. Body language was always put under a microscope and the basics like researching the company and why you want to work here inquiries are standard.

He observed some idiosyncrasies inherent to human resource people, who, after all, are also human. Some hated two page resumes and refused to read them and instead, trashed them. Some hated a too lengthy profile summary. Deleted! And, guaranteed, any resume with a misspelling or typo was immediately discarded by all of them, regardless of personal preference.

He told me of a code or signal he and another hiring manager had between them as a secret communication when interviewing prospective candidates. If they didn’t like a candidate, he or she was asked to wait outside with the excuse that the interviewer had to call so-and-so to see if that executive was available for a second interview right then and there. Of course that person was never around.

The picture was much different for any and all personal referrals. They were hardly interviews. This former HR person talked about laughing and having a good time with the “who-you-knew” candidates. Which brings us all to the old adage: it is truly who you know. So try to get to know some people!

So take heart and stop beating yourselves up. It is so frustrating, today’s job market. It’s a blood-letting. But do realize there are issues and circumstances that may have nothing to do with you. Now, this is not meant to say you should give up in defeat. You still need to do a good job search with all the accoutrements and tools and can-do attitude and treat each interview as if it is a pure one with no hidden agendas. Unless you are so determinedly entrepreneurial and into sales or starting your own business, realize that, yes, you are subject to the whims of the hiring manager, the ‘likeability’ factor, and if you are in reality on an even playing field. Each interview, even if the job has someone else’s name it, makes you stronger, gives you a forum for practice, if you can detach, not take it too seriously (after all, you will either get that damn job or you won’t) and adopt the successful sales attitude that every ‘no’ brings you closer to a ‘yes.’

The company from which this HR person himself was let go is a pharmaceutical one in the metropolitan area and judging from some horror stories and demoralizing experiences job candidates have had, it might seem that some of them are on drugs.

But in reality, the HR recruiter behind the desk is just like you and me. They are human with the same problems we all face in life. The only difference is they have a job. For now.

-By The Job Enthusiast Who Won’t Rest Till Everyone Is Put To Work!