I am a firm believer of looking at the lighter side of things. Nonetheless, lets face it: unemployment is hardly a joking matter; however, if we can find humor in darker situations, we are not only defining our humanity; We are one step closer to finding a solution. I remember watching George Carlin several years ago. He was doing a routine on how our language was becoming more confusing. To prove his point, he described how we went from a simple term, “shell shock” to “post traumatic stress disorder” to describe what many war veterans go through in adjusting to civilian life. I agree with his view. Here is my slant on what the late Mr. Carlin said, except I am applying it to more relevant issues for those of us who are in between jobs.

Back in the 1950’s times were much simpler. If you made $100.00 a week, you were considered in good financial shape. Cars were clunkier, and if you lost your job you were “fired.” One word, one syllable. You knew where you stood. If you were fired on a Friday, you knew that you did not have a job on Monday. You also knew you would never work for that company again. (Forget about getting a reference of a good word, end of story!). As we move forward in time, everything gets more confusing.

Let’s shoot ahead to the 1970’s and the birth of a new term. Tim came home after a hard week with bad news. His boss told him, at the end of that day, he was “laid off.” (Two words, two syllables, a slightly more complex concept). He had to explain this to his wife. I can only imagine the conversation that took place:

Tim: Honey, I don’t know how to tell you this but I was laid off today.

Tim’s Wife: Sweetheart, that’s terrible! I guess that means that you were fired.

Tim: Well, not exactly. The way I understand it, if you are fired, you can never work for that employer again. I was not fired. I was laid off. My boss explained that if business picks up, I could be working there again.

Tim’s Wife: I don’t understand. You are telling me that you are fired but you could end up working for the same employer again?

Tim: Yes. If business improves.

Tim’s Wife: OK, but when will business improve. If things get better next month, will your boss call you back to work?
Tim: Maybe. I just don’t know.

Tim’s wife: So, if you are rehired next month can we buy the color TV and diamond bracelet I always wanted?

Tim: I dunno.

The bottom line is that with more syllables you introduce more ambiguity. Tim does not know whether he should start looking at the employment section, or if he should wait for his business to improve. But wait: it gets even more confusing!

Let’s move to the 1980’s. Ronald Reagan is President, Reaganomics is born, and with it comes a new term, “Downsizing.” Now we are up to three syllables. Let’s go back to our mythical couple and see how they are doing:

Tim: Honey, I have some bad news.

Tim’s Wife: Don’t tell me: you’ve been laid off.

Tim: Not exactly. I’ve been downsized.

Tim’s Wife: What the heck is that?

Tim: Well, business has been slow, so most of the company operations moved to California. My boss calls it downsizing. Anyway, as of Monday, I do not have a job, because the company decided to move my responsibilities to the Amalgamated Division in California.

Tim’s Wife: Is there any chance you can work for them again?

Tim: I dunno. I have been told that there might be some opportunities if I am willing to relocate. There is always the chance that business might pick up over here. There is also the possibility that, if there is a huge earthquake in California, they might move the business back to the east coast and I will have my job back.

Tim’s Wife: When do you think that might happen?

Tim: I dunno.

Tim’s wife: So I guess that means that we can’t go out to look for a VCR this weekend and we will have to put our plans for a cruise on hold?

So here we have even more ambiguity. Tim could save his job if he relocates, or he could hope that business improves. Then again, he is probably better off getting the Sunday newspaper and going through the employment section. I did not want to hang around to discover the fate of their planned purchases.

Now we are going ahead in time to the present. I guess Tim is a lucky guy because his wife stuck with him and he found another job. However in the 21^st century we have a new word: Outsourcing. Three syllables (well at least we do not have another syllable to deal with), but the picture gets even more complex. Still the basic fact is that our friend Tim is out of work again, and he has to explain the situation to his wife. (Here we go again!)

Tim: Honey, I have some terrible news!

Tim’s Wife: Oh no, not again! Please tell me you were not fired, laid off or downsized!

Tim: No. None of the above. I was outsourced!

Tim’s Wife: Huh???

Tim: Let me explain. I have been working for my present employer for several years. Today they had a company meeting. Then boss told me my job was outsourced.

Tim’s Wife: I still do not understand what that means.

Tim: Well it goes something like this. Two years ago, the company I work for purchased a company in China. Then, last year they purchased a company in India. Both of those countries do not have a minimum wage law, so they can pay much less to have my job done in one of those countries, than in the USA. My boss calls that outsourcing.

Tim’s Wife: I know I am going to be sorry for asking this, but does this mean you are out of work?

Tim: Not yet, and not exactly. First, because the company has more than 50 people we are bound by the rules of the WARN act. The WARN act specifically states that when more than a certain percentage of employees are let go due to a company closing a facility, the company has to give the employees 90 days advance warning. So I am not out of work just yet. There are also other alternatives. I can see if one of the other US divisions of my company will allow me to transfer. I could also see if we can relocate to India or China. Then there is the possibility that there may be some natural disaster abroad like an earthquake or tsunami.

Tim’s Wife: That’s a terrible thought. I would not wish a disaster on anyone

Tim: I’m just giving you the picture as I see it.

Tim’s wife: So I guess we shouldn’t buy that Blu Ray this weekend? What about a new energy efficient dishwasher? Can we still get them?

It is nice to know that in a world of changes there are still some constants. I remember many years ago, when I was in school, I was told that required reading for an upcoming project would be Alan Toffler’s book, Future Shock. I still remember the basic message of that book:

“The only thing that is constant is change!”

Good Hunting!

-By Howard K. Young, Contributing Writer & Member of The 405 Club.

View all of Howard’s posts here.