That may sound like an odd and perhaps offensive question to ask now, of all times, when you’re plagued with unpaid bills, holiday presents to buy—and no money to pay for any of it.

But we serve ourselves and others well, despite all the woe, to examine the subject of humility. It’s quite natural to be ho hum and carefree—oblivious to chaos—when we’re one of the “elite” to hold a job, especially one with a high-level professional title and mucho buckaroos. Untouched and unscathed by the saturated news reports of millions of people out of work, we go about our business while others turn down the heat in their apartment that does not include utilities in the rent and depend on friends for dinner invitations.

What’s being humble got to do with it? The dictionary defines humility as a modest opinion or estimate of one’s importance and status. Keeping oneself in perspective in relation to the world. The opposite of proud. The companion of respect and courtesy.

The saints of historical and religious culture say that being humble is not letting you be affected by praise or criticism. As Mother Teresa, speaking about herself once said, nothing can then touch us because, “You know what you are.”

Often, upon a sudden job loss, we are stunned. We refuse to let it sink in. After all, we are only human and this is a perfectly natural response. The rug has been pulled out from under us. We feel betrayed. How dare they do this to me? After all I did for them? Those @!=*! We develop defense mechanisms and get angry. Then we isolate, groping for the last vestige of pride, to preserve what’s left of our jarred selves. Secretly ashamed and disgraced, we refuse to admit it to ourselves, and cling to anything that will ‘save’ our egos. What we feel is probably humiliation, not humility. There’s a healthy difference.

Could it be my job was so irrelevant, so unimportant, that they got rid of it?

I recently witnessed this phenomenon in a gentleman who was a big executive in a worldwide firm. He was earning a huge six-figure salary plus a bonus to double that.

He loved his work and was good at it. He was abrupt and impatient, clearly upset and annoyed that he was required to shuffle through the often time consuming process of reporting to the crowded department of labor office to continue receiving his weekly benefit. It was obvious when he said, “Look, I know how to do a resume. You people can’t do anything for me. This is a waste of my time.”

He made it clear that he wanted to be home, doing his own job search. I guess that is an irony, considering we at the Workforce NY One Stop Centers assist with exactly what he wanted to go home to do—job search. True, he needed to network ‘out there’ in his field and connect for the remote possibility he could wend his way through the forest and back into the field. What he couldn’t immediately realize is that we have endless resources and information on career change methodology, entrepreneurial strategies and the latest on green (eco-friend environmental) careers and industries, and a host of occupational titles just beginning to emerge on the Internet. Sometimes we even have a contact to offer!

But I didn’t give up on him. During subsequent visits, he calmed down and sought out our guidance. He was then able to open to other possibilities and appreciate the suggestions, ideas and support offered him free-of-charge as a taxpaying citizen. A colleague observed that he needed to be humbled, taken down a peg and realize that he no longer had his job. He first needed to get used to the idea that his job no longer existed. Only then, could he begin to think about his next move.

This gentleman later sent me a thank-you note saying how I made his new odyssey less frustrating and daunting and how he appreciated my assistance in this difficult time.

Another unemployed client, married and the mother of three, told me how she loved helping her church food pantry. “I don’t have much money,” she said, “but I can still buy some extra juice boxes when I’m at the store.” What particularly touched me is that her husband is also unemployed. Both lost their jobs and are receiving unemployment benefits for three children and a mortgage to preserve. To me, she embodies humility.

We tend to close ourselves off during times of crisis in our lives. We lose the support of other people, ideas, contacts and connections—and unfortunately increase our suffering. Who wants to admit they are struggling? It isn’t an attractive, sought-after state of being in the eyes of the glamour-struck world. We become so steeped in our own pain that we start believing that no one can help us.

When we retrieve work once again—finally—after months of wandering the desert of no return—we feel restored, renewed, privileged, blessed, “chosen.” Suddenly, we are high on the hill of prosperity, sun shining, considering we once lived on government allotments. It’s a great feeling and we congratulate ourselves and one another and bask in the new found restoration of living and perhaps resuming a lifestyle should the salary permit.

But do we then become so prideful that we forget what ‘it’ was like before we found the job? If we’re employers, do we mistreat and disrespect jobseekers whom we are interviewing? Let us place a check on ourselves so that we don’t unconsciously and inadvertently become self-centeredly opportunistic, believing we have the power now, and building a house of cards on our success. We then run the risk of thinking we are invincible, lose touch with our network, let the resume gather moss. Worse yet, we sometimes run the risk of becoming less generous in our talent, time and in giving others credit where credit is due, insulated, taking our own good fortune for granted and less compassionate and more justified in taking advantage of others. We want to succeed so badly that we forget that others want to succeed so badly, as well.

Here’s wishing everyone the right balance of humility and joy in a job well done.

-By The Job Enthusiast Who Won’t Rest Till Everyone Is Put To Work!