According to the USA Today, an increase in unemployment has prompted an increase in pregnancies nationwide. Apparently, women seem to want a lot more sex these days. These women do not live in my complex.

-Todd Justice (C)

Four Fidelity Investments employees were fired for participating in Fantasy Football Leagues.  The newly unemployed investors were confused, saying it was their jobs to make good trades.

-Erik Lundy (C)

A lot of people have several different reasons for abstaining from sex.  Some want to wait until marriage, others wait until they have a special connection with their partner of choice.

Me… i’m just waiting for somebody who is willing to sleep with a 300 pound unemployeed man on his mom’s living room couch.

-Kevin Jones (C)

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