I have always been a very responsible person.  Ask any of my friends to come up with a word to describe me, and many of them would choose “responsible.”  I think “crazy” would be up there, too, but that’s a topic for another time. 
 
I pay my bills on time— and often pay them early.  My rent is never late.  When I was in school, I was on time to class and handed in my assignments on time.  I handed in my Masters thesis a week early.  If I have a plan to meet at 5, I will be there at 4:55. 
 
In the working world, I was a responsible employee…

  I arrived early to work, completed my assignments on time, helped out others in my department, answered my emails and voicemails in a timely manner, showed up to meetings on time.  My ex-boss required that I email my arrival time to her assistant every day.  I had never had to do this before and thought it was ridiculous, but did as I was told.  Office hours began at 9:30.  I was usually there before 9.  Most of my co-workers arrived after 9:30.  Often I would go to see my assistant (another one who arrived early) and ask, “Where is everybody?”  “It’s only 9:30,” he would say, laughing.
 
Clearly, my responsible behavior counted for nothing.  Most of my former co-workers— those who showed up late— are still there.  I was shown the door.  Needless to say, this enraged me. 
 
My responsible behavior didn’t seem to make a difference elsewhere, either.  One of the first things I did when I got laid off was to call Sallie Mae to see if I could defer my student loan payments.  I got the go-ahead to defer one of them, the government loan.  The private loan was a different story.  That loan was only $50 a month, not very much in the grand scheme of things, but since I wasn’t working, I thought it best to try to defer that, too.  I was told that I would have to pay $50 every three months to defer the loan. 
 
“Wait a second,” I said to the woman on the line.  “I have to PAY not to pay my loan when I’ve just been laid off?” 
 
“Yes,” she said. 
 
“Are you kidding me?  That makes no sense at all.” 
 
“Sorry,” she said. 
 
“And my having paid on time since the get-go doesn’t make a difference?”
 
“No,” she responded. 
 
I slammed down the phone and tried to calm myself down. 
 
It didn’t work.  And calling the credit card company didn’t help matters.  I called Visa to see if I could get my APR lowered. 
 
“Sorry, we can’t help you,” I was told. 
 
“What?  I’ve been a customer for over 15 years and have paid on time consistently since I got my card— and you can’t help me?” I asked. 
 
“No,” I was told. 
 
“Are you serious?  I just got laid off,” I said. 
 
“Sorry,” he said.
 
Again, I was overcome with rage.  My years of fiscal responsibility meant nothing.  No one would cut me a break. If I had over $10,000 in credit card debt, sure, I could get help.  But no, I had been responsible and had tried to keep my balance at a decent level.  And I couldn’t get any assistance.  My outrage continued to grow.
 
Being laid off through no fault of my own— when I had been a responsible, competent employee— was bad enough.  And now it seemed that being responsible in my fiscal life didn’t make a difference, either. 
 
Being responsible really hasn’t gotten me anywhere.  Maybe I’ll go run up my credit card today— to over $10,001—- and then get some help.

-By Lesley Pink, an editor and writer who has worked in marketing, financial journalism, and immigration law.

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