Nightmare, Again: Part 1.
Writer’s Preface: For several months, I wanted to post a sequel to my nightmare pieces [Missed them? Read them here]. Many of my friends enjoyed it. I am glad to say that it took awhile but the nightmares that I had over the past few months are finally gone.
Actually I even had some nightmares into the first few weeks of my new position. My father had told me that he had similar issues when he was younger. Bottom line is that when you go through long term unemployment, it takes time for the scars to heal. Enjoy.
-Howard K. Young
…………………
When I was in college, psychology was one of the required courses in my curriculum. My professor consistently reminded us that the line between sanity and insanity is a thin one. I have found that job loss, combined with many months of fruitless interviews can definitely test ones sanity. As far as I am concerned, I have had to dig deep into my long term memories and use them as a tool to help me keep my mental footing stable.
I am fortunate in that one of the talents I am blessed with is an excellent long term memory. I am not alone when it comes to this talent. I remember, many years ago, and interview with the late actor Lee Marvin. He told his interviewer that he remembered his birth! The interviewer had mentioned that people who have excellent long term memories may have poor short term memories.
Although my memory does not go back to my birth, there are many things that I remember from my infancy and my childhood. I will spare those detail for now, other than to say that, for some reason, dreams seem to stick in my memory. I remember most of the good dreams, as well as the bad ones I had during my childhood and adulthood. Many of those ideas became good source material for my writings in High School and College. A few months ago, I wrote a piece about the nightmares I had. Since that time, I have had several other dreams that were worth writing down…
I have been told that sequels are one of the most sincere forms of flattery. I believe those words were once spoken by Rod Serling, who hosted the original Twilight Zone series many years ago. I could almost imagine him doing a narration for a Twilight Zone episode written by Howard K. Young, that never quite made it to TV as an episode. That episode, had it made it to the airwaves would have been called: NIGHTMARE…..AGAIN!
It is a smoky room. A tall thin man, neatly groomed and dressed in a dark suit, holding a cigarette, begins to speak.
“Submitted for your approval is Mr. Howard K. Young. Up to this point he has been a successful supply chain manager, however when his employer closed the office, he found himself in a strange place, where the rules of reality became strangely twisted. You see, whenever his head hit the pillow, he was transported to another dimension. Your next stop on this unusual voyage is….The Twilight Zone!”
“The next thing you will her is Howard’s narrative.”
I hung up the phone after receiving the news that I had lost another opportunity for employment. Once again the goal I had hoped to reach was denied. I had interviewed for a position that seemed like a perfect match for my talents, and I was assured by several individuals, including my headhunter that an offer would be forthcoming. All I had to do was wait for the last candidate to be interviewed. It was supposed to be a technicality, yet for some reason, that individual was offered the job, and I was not. I decided to go to the health club to work out some of my anger. The health club was about a mile away from my home, and I decided to walk there instead of taking the car.
Although I had a good workout, I could not shake the feelings of fear and rejection. My wife came home from work, and shortly afterward my daughter came home from school. It was close to dinner time. Although I usually enjoy doing a comedy monologue during dinner, I was silent at the dinner table this night. My wife told me to try to put the day out of my mind, however, I had the feeling that, when my head hit the pillow that night, the day’s events would find some way to come back to haunt me.
It was a struggle to fall asleep, however I finally gave in. The next thing I knew, I was walking down a block in South Merrick. I stopped in front of my parents’ house. It was almost as if I didn’t have to walk through the door. It felt like the surroundings around me were dissolving. I suddenly found myself inside the house. Slowly, I entered the kitchen. It was time for one of my weekly chats with my mother. Even after I graduated college, I always kept the lines of communication open with my parents. In my senior year of college, my initial intention was to move as far away from my family as possible. However I vaguely remember my psychology professor convincing me to stay closer to home. As my father was often busy working in Staten Island, I had many heart to heart conversations with my mother. Now I found myself in the bathroom. I happened to look at myself in the mirror. I was surprised to find that the gray tones creeping into my hair were gone. Those shades were replaced by the light brown hair that I had in my early adult years. My face was thinner and I felt much younger. In fact, the reflection showed that I did not look a day over 21!
I went back into the kitchen, as coffee was ready. My mother brought over the two cups and we sat down and talked.
“Son, there are times in life when all of our beliefs are tested, and it seems that everything that we believe in has gone awry.”
“I don’t understand mom.” I answered, “Why are you telling me this? My mother merely smiled.
“Son, you will understand, it will come clear to you eventually. As for me, I am going on a trip that I do not want to take. I do not know where it will lead me. You will be going on a voyage yourself. While I will always be there for you, I fear that our paths will take different directions. Your life will become what you make of it. Make it a good one!”
Usually I can understand my mother, however this time her words were unclear. I was about to ask her what she was talking about; what did she mean about our paths taking different directions and why is she giving me advice that I could not understand. As these thoughts went through my head, my surroundings started to dissolve again. I found myself trying to say “Mom…please, don’t go!” but the words would not come out of my mouth. It was as if someone stole my vocal cords and I was unable to speak! I began to feel very dizzy.
When the dizziness cleared, I found myself standing in front of my parents house again. The house had changed. The pristine, sky blue paneling that had always covered the house, was changing before my eyes to a dingy gray. The shingles were showing signs of wear and I noticed that the fence outside the house had become rusty. It was almost as if I was in the middle of a time lapse picture of the house. A sign that I had not noticed before stood in front of me advertising “This house for sale.” I began to feel older and alone. My mother was gone. It was then that I realized I was no longer in South Merrick.
I must have been in a deep sleep. Usually after I have a dream about my parents, I wake up. Instead, I felt like I was falling through time and space. It felt as if I was going through a time tunnel. When the dizziness cleared, I found myself in a suit, armed with my attache case which contained my resume, some CD’s and a meal bar. I seemed to be in a business district, somewhere in New York.
NEXT: A Job at the Meat Market?
Good Hunting to all!
-By Howard K. Young, Contributing Writer & Member of The 405 Club. View all of Howard’s posts here.






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