(Ed. Note) We are excited to introduce Lesley Pink, an editor and writer who has worked in marketing, financial journalism, and immigration law.  She wishes she could swim for a living, but for now you can find her here in her new “Single White Unemployed Female” column. Enjoy.

I’ve been wading through a lot of emotions since I was downsized earlier this year.  And I realized that I lot of feelings I’ve been having are similar to ones I’ve experienced after a break-up.  There’s a lot in common between being downsized and being dumped.

As an employee, I had a relationship with my [former] company for several years— a long-term relationship if you will.  The relationship, like any other, had its good days and its bad days.  But I was getting something— money, health insurance, a sense of worth— out of it.  And the company was getting my skills and ideas.  But one day, the company decided that it no longer wanted to be in this relationship and unceremoniously dumped me.  Allowing me to get unemployment and giving me a small severance package seemed to be the company’s way of saying it still wanted to be friends, a common tag line after any break-up.  But I was angry and hurt and humiliated.  I didn’t want to be friends with the company.  It had betrayed me.  It had wooed me, said it wanted to be with me and then decided it didn’t.  Hmm.  Sounded kind of familiar.

At the time, it stung so much that I didn’t know what to do with the combination of anger, rage, sadness and humiliation I felt.  But slowly, I began to wade through those emotions, much like I have done with break-ups.  I tried to review the time we had been together to see if there were red flags in the relationship, to determine if there were clues that this relationship would have an expiration date.  Some days, I would think, If only I had done that project better, this wouldn’t have happened.  Other days, I would think, There was nothing I could have done— the decision had been made.  Reeling from one emotion to the other was standard after a break-up.  I’ve learned it’s standard for a downsizing, too.

After any relationship ends, there is a grieving period.  So get me some ice cream, a quilt and the remote control.  And some time.  Before you know it, I’ll be ready for a new— and better—relationship.

-By Lesley Pink, an editor and writer who has worked in marketing, financial journalism, and immigration law.