Time to turn back the clock.  The Time:  November 2009!  The place:  Somewhere in Suburban New York.  Although I did not have a job offer yet, things were looking promising.  I had just completed four interviews. I also had jury duty, and I wondered if there would be a conflict between interview time and jury duty.  Somehow I managed to make my way through, but there were some moments that I was very concerned.  As the results came in, one company turned down my application and notified me within twenty four hours after my interview.  The other interview was for a position I had no experience for.  True I could get training, but I wanted to see how the other interviews turned out.  The third was one that my headhunter told me that I would definitely get an offer for….That definitely ended up turning into a definitely not, and was the basis for my “Cautionary Tale” writing.  The final one…well we’ll get to that one later (as that is where I am now employed).

I am, however getting ahead of myself.  When we last left my nightmarish experience, I found myself transformed to a version of my younger self for another discussion with my mother. As I left the house, I began to age quickly.  Fortunately I stopped aging when I reached my current age.  The next thing I knew I was job hunting in the meat district of New York City.  What happens next?  Please read on.  You will find the answer in Part 2 of Nightmare….Again.   Enjoy

-Howard K. Young
Find Part 1 here

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Part 2

Good Evening. I am not sure you know me. My name is Howard K. Young. I like to think of myself as a professional. I am not in business to make friends, but once I leave the office, I am a completely different person. All was going well until my job was taken from me in June of 2009. I know what I have to do to get re-employed but like a bad joke without a punchline, I just cannot seem to get that elusive employment offer. As a result I often have problems sleeping at night. When I do sleep, I find that I am often plagued by nightmares. My nightmares put me in strange places, strange situations. I feel like a passenger on a train that is going to some strange Twilight Zone!

I find myself in positions that I would never consider taking in real life…

In this dream, I am wearing the navy blue suit which I usually wear at job interviews. I am in the meat market district, somewhere in New York City. As I pass by a butcher store there is a large sign in the front window which says HELP WANTED….APPLY within. Before I knew it I was wearing a butcher’s apron and I was using a cleaver to create rib steaks. A kind looking elderly lady shuffled up to the counter and I knew it was my job to help her.

“May I help you?” I asked.

The woman, with a stern look on her face replied “I’ll have a pound of meat, please.”

I felt puzzled. Is there something I am missing? I had to reply. “Ma’am, can you be a little more specific?”

The woman looked at me strangely.”Young man,” she sternly re-stated, “perhaps you did not hear me. I asked for a pound of meat…please!”

I was definitely confused, however I did not want to go back to being unemployed. I needed to make a good impression and put my best foot forward. “Ma’am, can you please tell me what type of meat you would prefer? We have several different types…”

The elderly lady interrupted my sentence. “Young man,” the lady repeated with some frustration,” Are you or are you not a butcher?”

“I am trying to be a good one,” I answered. The woman replied, “Then you should know what meat is, especially if you work with it! All I am asking for is a pound of it!”

“Madam”, I reiterated, “I would like to help you but you need to be more specific. What type of meat would you prefer?”

“Sonny, the lady replied, “Do you not know what meat is???”

If this were some other time, I might actually find this humorous, but this was my first day on the job and my situation was becoming serious. I did not know what to say to calm the woman down, and I needed to get this situation under control. The woman spoke again.

“Sonny, If you cannot help me, I will have to speak to your manager. All I want is a pound of meat! What is so difficult about that?”

Out of desperation I guessed that she might want a pound of chop meat. Perhaps I should get her a pound of chopped sirloin. As I reached for the chopped sirloin the woman seemed very irritated. “Young man, you leave me no choice! Who is the manager on duty today”?

“That would be Mr. Dickens, but please do not call him! I really need this job. If there is anything I can do to help you please, let me help you, but don’t call my boss!”

I was clearly shaken. I did not think that this would be a difficult job, but with each moment, it was looking as if my tenure as a butcher was on very thin ground. The woman was getting angrier with each passing moment.

“Young man, you obviously do not know your job well at all if you cannot get me a pound of meat. Mr Dickens, MR DICKENS, please help me, this young man does not know how to do his job!”

Mr. Dickens ran to the front of the store. A tall, thin man, Mr Dickens could pass for a business executive, except for his white, blood stained smock, and his long handlebar mustache. He did not seem pleased.

“Mrs Perkins, good day! I can see you are upset! What seems to be troubling you?”

“I love shopping here Mr. Dickens, but your new assistant is getting me very upset! He does not even know what a pound of meat is!”

“Is that so!” Mr Dickens replied with authority, “Mrs Perkins, I assure you that I will handle this problem. I deeply apologize for any inconvenience. Now you said you want a pound of meat, right?”

“Yes, Mr. Dickens”, replied the lady. You know what I like.”

Mr. Dickens walked past the chop meat, the chuck steaks and the rib steaks, and the poultry to a small area at the back counter labeled “Tofu.” He carefully selected one of the packages, and returned to the front of the store.

“Will this suffice?” Mr Dickens inquired?

“This is the best meat I’ve ever tasted. This is exactly what I want. How much do I owe you?”the woman asked.

“On the house” Mr. Dickens replied.

As the woman left, Mr. Dickens turned towards me. I could tell that what was about to happen would not be pleasant. I had to find a way to defend myself.

“Mr. Dickens, I do not understand why the lady would not tell me that she wanted tofu and..”

“Young man!” Mr. Dickens interrupted, “You obviously do not have what it takes to be a good butcher. Your ability to understand customer requirements, as well as your poor multitasking abilities make you an unsatisfactory candidate for this position! Leave your apron in my office! You are discharged!”

I wanted to say something but I could not seem to form the words. What had happened made no sense. What did multitasking have to do with knowing that a customer really wanted tofu when she asked for meat? Why couldn’t she tell me…..It was at that point that I remembered hearing a voice in my head:

“There are times in life when all of our beliefs are tested, and it seems that everything that we believe in has gone awry.”

As I thought of those words, I felt dizzy. I thought I was back on the street in my suit, but my surroundings seemed to swirl around me. I felt as if I was moving through space. My head was spinning and I was wondering if this is what it felt like to space walk. After a short while my head began to clear. It was at that point I noticed that I was behind the wheel of a car. I was on a highway and the car in front of me stopped short. At the last possible second I turned the wheel sharply to the right, barely missing the car in front of me.

“Mr Young! You must learn to be a better driver! I do not care that the last meeting lasted twelve hours. You must think like a soldier if you want to be a good salesman! Consider yourself on reprimand for the way you handled that last meeting. I will make sure that you are thrown out of the company if your next presentation does not improve!”

How did I get here? Where was here? I was just in New York City and had lost my job as a butcher’s assistant. How did I end up behind the wheel of a car? Where am I supposed to be driving this car?And who is this man sitting next to me who is belting out orders like an army Drill Sargent.

One thing was clear. I was no longer in New York City.

Next: A ride over a Bridge. Good Hunting to all!

Good Hunting to all!

-By Howard K. Young, Contributing Writer & Member of The 405 Club.

View all of Howard’s posts here.