Ed. Note) We are excited to introduce Lesley Pink, an editor and writer who has worked in marketing, financial journalism, and immigration law.  She wishes she could swim for a living, but for now you can find her here in her new “Single White Unemployed Female” column. Enjoy.

My bank account isn’t the only thing taking a hit during my first experience with unemployment.  My self-esteem is suffering, too.

Of course, I didn’t get all my self-worth from my job, but I did get something out of it.  I had a sense of accomplishment, an office, an assistant, and yes, that paycheck.  I was being paid for my work and, along with that, my experience and education.

And then that was taken away and my editing background was deemed insignificant, my Masters degree considered [even more] worthless.  Since my experience and education didn’t seem to count for anything and since I could be so easily discarded, didn’t that make me, by extension, worthless and expendable?

I have been struggling with these feelings for a couple months now…

Looking for a new job isn’t easy under any circumstances, but when dealing with these issues, it becomes harder.  I see jobs that I think I would be qualified for and then second-guess myself.  This company won’t want me, I think, because the last one didn’t.  Each time I get a rejection, it only reinforces those thoughts.  It’s a bad cycle, one I have been trying to fight my way out of.

And when I’m feeling like this, my personal life is affected, too.  First of all, it costs money to socialize and I am trying to conserve cash.  I’m also not in the best frame of mind.  A pessimist by nature, my pessimism has reached new heights.  So I really limit my socializing to my closest friends, friends who understand my bad mood and don’t require an explanation.  As for dating, the only thing I’m cuddling up with now is a bag of M&Ms.  Being out of work isn’t a real selling point to the opposite sex.

My self-esteem needs some work (no pun intended), and I try to keep in mind that I have friends and family, an education, skills and creativity. So for now, I am trying to put down that chocolate bar, head outside for some fresh (or fresh for New York) air, and keep plugging away.

-By Lesley Pink, an editor and writer who has worked in marketing, financial journalism, and immigration law.

Read more from Lesley’s “Single White Unemployed Female” series here.