In all times of crisis and pain, people feel so overwhelmed and afraid and with those feelings comes the isolation they complain about. “No one knows the troubles I’ve seen” says an old song.

People who lost jobs and anything else for that matter feel alienated, abandoned and taken for granted. Relatives seem to expect the same expensive gifts at Christmastime and birthdays that you gave them when you had the money to spend. And while many of my unemployed clients tell me that friends hardly call or return calls and relatives just seem to slip into the woodwork, perhaps their isolation compounds the reality. Perhaps you’re feeling awkward and embarrassed for your friend. Perhaps you don’t know what to say to him or her to make it better. Perhaps your friend’s misfortune fills you with fear of the possibility of losing your job.

You don’t want to obligate your friend with invitations to go out but you also don’t want your laid off friend to feel like a charity case. Your friend, on the other hand, may be feeling frightened, resentful and rejected by the situation and sometimes those feelings are commuted to fellowships and relationships. These are all very human, conflicting feelings whenever we see others suffer any of life’s setbacks and losses.

There are lots of things working friends and relatives who care can do to ease that heavy, lonesome feeling of the weary jobless jobseeker, especially at this tender time of year…

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